7.16.2009

Insomnia

My nightly rest is often delayed
Hours late into the night
By the noise, screams, cries for help
Of the young one in fright.

I'm often tired
Because I can't sleep

I'm often sluggish
Because I can't sleep

I drag
Because I can't sleep

It's not stress from work, friends, or marriage
It's my own personal trauma
Trauma inflicted by you at your hands
It's now my nightly drama

I used to say I was up late
Doing homework, Painting, Watching TV
I had a long drive this morning
I've been busy

I'm not sure I want to say those things anymore.
It's made me an enable you
Cover up, hide, and keep your "image" in tact
By deflecting away from you, too

I'm tired of that game
I'm tired of pretending
I'm tired of the lingering shame
I think that being tired
Should soon be ending

The next time they ask why my eyes are so heavy
I think I might just tell them, be honest for once
Because right now, I'm so tired
That I'm ready to rest.

I would love to see the look on your face
When it's time to put you in your place.